Zeppelin!!!

Zeppelin!!!
I am not to out of shape to climb these stairs.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A Loss Into A Lifetime

The Loss Into A Lifetime

“A fragmentary lapse of reason caught in the alcove you call your mind. Days interlay into reoccurring eras, but you remain stuck, misdirected by the abrupt notions defecting your perception of time. Bring on the pensive dreams, bring on the new wave.”

This is a little snippet of a bigger poem that I did. The poem is quite lengthy and on the prosy side, but I believe that it still contains some valuable poetic characteristics. The way I write is very free verse because I am mainly a storywriter. I am the type of person that overwrites and has to cut down half of what I write. Once I get going I just let the ideas bleed through my fingers and onto the paper. Sometimes, it works in my favor and sometimes it does not, but that’s the beauty of being a writer.
The “Fragments on Fragments” text really wet my appetite for reading in this class. My views on writing are very similar to the ones that a handsome number of these fellow writers share. Lauren Albert lists one of my favorite quotes though, “Fragments represent the state of in between-ness, the source of all creative thought.” I totally agree. What you write should make sense, but the idea of having to guess or fill in the blank is quite an anomaly to me. For example, take a songwriter, you do not necessarily know what the song is about, but it’s catchy and attractive, so it’s up to your interpretation, that is if they do not tell you what it means. The same goes for a story that leaves that distinct level of ambiguity. I have often been told that my writing seems to veer in different directions sometimes, but I tend to disagree. I like to leave the reader to fill in the void spaces with their on intuition. It brings a sense of excitement and curiosity.
Fragments are like connecting the dots. To bring together impressive writing and an ability to triumph with cognition, is the essence in fragmentary writing. It is impressive when one writes back and forth and then brings it all together in the end. It is imperative to write in such ways, otherwise most stories may become tedious or outdated.





















From Ligeia by Edgar Allan Poe
“There is no point among the many incomprehensible anomalies of the science of mind, move thrillingly, excited then the fact-never, I believe noticed in the schools-that in our endeavors to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember.”

To begin with, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my all time favorite writers. His use of melancholy events and out of the ordinary plots is just mentally exhilarating to me. I have always been a fan of the darker literature, such as Poe and, in some cases, Hemingway. They have this sad demeanor to their writing that brings a genius plot to life. When I read Poe I am consumed into his story or poem. This piece is from one of his early short stories called, Ligeia. The story is about a man who marries a woman and she dies then comes back to life. The story, I will admit, is not to exhilarating among others, but this quote matched mine almost perfect.
My quote played with the idea of memory loss. I have always been fascinated with the cognitive function of memory loss. It is amazing that all the thoughts in our head can, in times, permanently deteriorate. With this notion in mind, I wrote a poem about a man who has Alzheimer’s and the reader is being informed of his thoughts in 1st person point of view. The end of Poe’s text is what I find most captivating. There is always that idea that there is something there, but you cannot put your finger on it, and eventually you just subside or forget about it. The memory just perpetually ceases to be and becomes a faint dust particle that has permanently blown away.
Poe tends to establish a lot of different illnesses in his writing. I find his writing to be very credible because, in a documentary that I read, he has had many people close to him die of these illnesses he describes in his stories. It’s moving for an author to use these different life experiences to create an interesting plot. Many times Poe will write in odd ways and use small fragmentary ideas and leave the reader thinking. This ambiguity is exactly what enthralls me to write in the same fashion.

Drugs and Rock 'N' Roll

R O L L I N G S T O N E S
R O L L
C I N
K S T O N E S
‘N’
R
O
L
L

My Winnipeg

My Winnipeg is a wonderful portrayal of art in film. Some will say that film and movies are two different forms and in this case I am ready to agree. This film touches on some of the most beautiful part of reality and bearing to get away from home, but your internal struggle to part because of the momentous void that falls into the pit of your stomach. Guy Maddin included some very influential parts in this movie that can relate closely to many people looking to leave their hometown. Inquisitively, everybody has a part of them that wants to venture off into the unknown, most may not do this, but there is that sense of wonder that brings itself to be apparent in mortality. Maddin really brings out the loneliness of Winnipeg and how the city treats it’s architectural past like garbage. The buildings that were formed with the city, the buildings that held the memories and infidelities the city possessed were destroyed. With every one of these buildings destroyed, a part of the cities original character went with it. Maddin expresses that this is an important part of his growing up and with every part of the city that dies, it takes a piece of him with it.
My only disagreement with Maddin on this issue is, he expresses such hate for the future of his city, and I think that he would want to get out. It seems as if he is pushing himself to leave, but cannot because the loneliness of being away from home is barring his mind for the exact thought. It would seem more plausible that he left for a long time then came back rather than living in the city the whole time. That is why they call it “homesickness.” It is the “sleepy” city so maybe the relaxing qualities of the city keep him there. Also, the architectural phenomenon that eats at his very notions appears to be useless. It is true that keeping the original buildings of a city does keep a significant amount of the original character, but buildings die and the city needs to thrive on any economic output that may become of this. Maddin appears to realize it, but in the movie it appeared that he fully did not in his awful scorn of the situation.
The chilling history was very interesting indeed. Every city has that one place where something detrimental, at least to the cities population, has happened. In a melancholy way this seems to spark another interest of “homesickness” before even leaving the home. Maddin is sparked by numerous memories of his mother’s hard, but influential issues, in which he has to part and the old salon that his mother used to own. This surrealist movie touches on some issues that are definitely universal; everybody has issues leaving their hometowns, whether it is along the road or right away. This brings up the constant questioning of him in the town and what he should do.
The most interesting question that was commonly being asked throughout the movie is, what if? Maddin commonly questions himself to help formulate different reasoning for his decision on leaving. He wonders what if this would have happened to make the city stand as a whole, would it make him stay? Or what if there was still an ice rink that the original hockey players played at, would that make him stay? He is constantly questioning morals around him to help identify his own, it seems as if he hates to love the city. Maddin is an original “sleep-walker” in the city that most coin as the “sleepy city.”

The '10' List 7

10 Verbal Photographs

1. I read an excerpt in another class on the prerequisites to marriage and it got me thinking of the divorce rate. Imagine if they just made a world where marriage is not even an option. John Lennon’s song would be complete, no religion, hate, or marriage.
2. The Nobel Peace Prize compromises of only a few select genres, but omit an important aspect of everybody’s life, music. How great would it be to have a prize for music?
3. I walked outside one day and it was a hazy, eerie musk that is brought on by the Michigan weather. It was saddening to the point that it presented itself as a type of beauty. The sun was just coming up and irradiating through the gray of the clouds and making the droplets from the musty fog shine like little diamonds.
4. I had a dream that I was in a world just like Alice in Wonderland, but all the characters were opposite of their usual anthropomorphic self. Each character was an insane human and possessed animal like qualities.
5. Vision that you’re walking through the woods on a summer day with a sense of euphoria. Not one that is distributed through a type of narcotic, but just that feeling strikes you when you’re destined to have a wonderful day. You’re looking at the trees, the plants, the animals, and the colors of the woods, enjoying every increment it has to possess in it’s sublime wonder, but then all of a sudden something detrimental happens. You are walking and all of a sudden you develop a sense of monochromatic sight, you can only see blue. Now you perceive life in only blue shades and colors.
6. A billboard read on the road: Is it to late to start your education? This reminded me of the pursuit people have of grasping life and living it to the fullest. More people should do that.
7. When people play the guitar in blues videos, almost all of them make facial expression that shows they are not only playing the guitar, but living every single note. It’s riveting to watch in all forms.
8. Walking along the train tracks in the dark is invigorating because you feel like you’re on a never-ending road, like you could follow this until the end of your life. Just arriving at the beginning again.
9. On a cheesy comedy movie they stated, “Is you take life to seriously, you will never get out alive.” I found this to be a rather odd quote because it reminded me of people, this is including my family, who repeatedly get breaks and ruin them, whether it be a good education opportunity or well paying job.
10. I once imagined that the cat from Alice in Wonderland was a common housecat and that it disappeared and reappeared before my very eyes. It was quite creepy, yet entertaining.


10 Treasures

1. “There is a natural aristocracy among men. The grounds of this are virtue and talents.” -Thomas Jefferson
2. “Teachers open the door but you must walk through it yourself.” -Chinese Proverb
3. “Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity.” -T.S Eliot
4. “Humankind cannot bear very much reality.” -T.S Eliot
5. “London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.” -Oscar Wilde
6. “People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening.” -Paul Simon
7. “Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.” -Revelation 2:10
8. “This city is full of sleep walkers.” -Guy Maddin
9. “What if? What if?” -Guy Maddin
10. “The Forks, The Lap, The Forks, The Lap.” -Guy Maddin

The theme of the 10 verbal photographs that I explored was mostly of the beauty in confusion theme. I have always found some kind of wonder in the idea of confusion; it keeps you on yours heels. Confusion, to most individuals, can leave an intolerable feeling in the pit of one’s stomach, but I feel different. When I find confusion, I also find a want to complete. As I have said before, I find the experience of life and the act of pursuing your dreams as an enticing event. Coincidentally, many people seem to feel the same way from literary scholars to musicians. I have used some Alice in wonderland quotes because they relay to a part of the brain that many people ignore, your sense of exploration both physically and mentally. I also thought that description of nature and the marriage quotes fit really well in the idea of forming life. Life can get away from you if you do not live it correctly, or how you want to live it. That is why you shouldn’t take life to seriously because you will never get out alive.
My treasures are based more on the idea of knowledge any experience with love and life. Guy Maddin brings up many internal goals that he has learned thorugh his own experience. He has developed the knowledge to feel comfort in his own mind, which many people seem to feel a void in. The Chinese proverb exaplins that teacher open the doorway for students to experience and that’s thorugh living life. They need to set out and find their way like others have in life. Guy Maddin did the same way, he had a sense of adventure and wanted to leave the city, so he works at trying to leave, but has to figure some life issues out first. Paul Simon declares in a song lyric that many people talk without specking and hear without listening, which reminds me of people just being oblvious to what they could achieve. People need to set out and notice the little discrepancies that they have and just overcome them. Life can be a lot more satisfying if people strive for what they believe in.

The '10' List 6

10 Verbal Photographs

1. I had a dream that I was running away from a witch and when I was running on cement, I could get away from her, but when I hit grass I would slow down. She almost caught me a few times.
2. I often wonder if I could get a job at Rolling Stone magazine. That would be a great place to work at. I have always had the dream, similar to the movie Almost Famous, to work for a musical magazine.
3. When it comes to behavioral psychology, I think my boss takes the cake. When my boss yells or talks to another person she will talk over that person. I hope somebody teaches her a lesson soon because you could imagine how annoying it is to be talked down to.
4. Before I even read Lover’s Discourse. The title reminded me of a guide on how to break up with your significant other.
5. I had another dream on being a professional musician. I have seen movies, documentaries, and biographies discussing the difficulty of being on the road sometimes. I imagined that I was a classical pianist in the 19th century. Do you think they lived a hard life also? They did tour like the present day.
6. I am, hopefully, going on a Mediterranean cultural tour in June. We will be stopping in Venice. I believe that Venice may be a lot more romantic the France any day. From the pictures I have seen those boat rides look exquisite.
7. If I hear about the Olympics one more time, I think I might have to turn myself into an insane asylum for something risky that I may do to myself or another person. (Sarcastically)
8. Being in a band is like having three or four girlfriends. You have to deal with their every little problem and they focus on you to handle it for them.
9. When my windshield is wet with a heavy amount of water, the taillights shine through like red demonic orbs moving through clear primordial ooze.
10. I think pain is, to an extent, something of a psychological issue. When I cut myself, I look at it right away and it hurts, but when I get cut and don’t even notice, it doesn’t even bug me.

10 Treasures

1. "A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me...." -Frederick Douglass
2. I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule..." -Frederick Douglass
3. “Well I found myself face down in the ditch, with booze in my hair, Blood on my lips, A picture of you holding a picture of me, In the pocket of my blue jeans. -Ray Lamontagne
4. “Yeah, and I went straight into a fantasy world. Just stepped straight into the abyss. You know, I was gone and kids used to walk past my front room, cause I lived on the green.” -Eric Clapton
5. “Well, the future for me is already a thing of the past.” -Bob Dylan
6. “You have to keep reminding yourself its not about money.“ -Zooey Deschannel
7. “Art is always and everywhere the secret confession, and at the same time the immortal movement of its time.” -Karl Marx
8. "If I acknowledge my dependency, I do so because for me it is a means of signifying my demand: in the realm of love, futility is not a "weakness" or an "absurdity": it is a strong sign: the more futile, the more it signifies and the more it asserts itself as strength." -Roland Barthes
9. “Language is never innocent.” -Roland Barthes
10. "Am I in love? --yes, since I am waiting. The other one never waits” -Roland Barthes

I have had some significant verbal photographs this time around. When I was thinking of most of these I was focused on the main idea of behavioral psychology, whether it relates to that actual sentence or not. I always find it astonishing that different thought one has whether it’s in dreams or if it is in reality. I have noticed that I have some very defensive thoughts and dreams. I wonder if that is some kind of Freudian discourse that I could learn through one of his teachings. Also I have noticed that I need to be a little more openhearted. Towards a lot of subjects I seem to be very close hearted, for example, with the Olympics subject. I will probably feel happier and, in turn, more comfortable with life if I feel this way. Again, I display my observance for everyday life, which is something that I was very familiar with sine I was a child. I notice things that normal people probably do not notice.
Every time I have quotes, I take quotes that influence me throughout that week and I try to pick a certain theme. This I really did not have much of a certain theme, but they do have similarities. I played with the use of moving on in life and the idea of language. The Lovers Discourse caused me to question a lot of my ideals and challenge, which is great. I read it and thought the use of the fragments were very interesting. The most interesting was when he asked if he was in love. I am, unfortunately, in the same boat. I am confused on my certain status. I like the idea of people having problems, or obstacles, in their life and moving past them with a positive attitude. It helps my negative angle towards life and helps me look at the light at the end of the tunnel.

An Unfortunate Event For Ronald The Raven

An Unfortunate Event for Ronald the Raven

Ronald the Raven was a foolish bird. He always flew himself right into bitter situations, leaving melancholy personal feelings.
Ronald was flying through the skies of Northern Nebraska, bored, because you know what they say; Nebraska is the most exciting state of the union. When Ronald came upon a worm that was inching it’s way on a hard circular surface, he dove in for a snag, but found himself immersed in the very object he was born from, an egg.
The ironic thing is that Ronald is actually a renegade house bird. When his owners run on errands or go to their place of employment, Ronald has a tricky way of bending his neck through a curvature in the bars enough to barely peak his beak far enough to pick the lock, like a flying double-ball pick set. After he breaks free, of his metal golden slumber that reeks of solvent and thinners that is relayed bombastically through the touch up paint applied by the owners, he flies through the doggie door that is just made of a thin piece of tire rubber stained with scratch marks and salt dissolvent.
When outside, he flies around the beautiful green landscape Northern Nebraska. There is not too much else to do besides fly around or watch over weight farmers try to gather cows. The experiences are limited, so extensive flying is a must. Exploring is Ronald’s primary passion, but ceases to enjoy the favored activity, because of his illegitimate notion of being a house bird. So when the chance arises, he springs into action, performing his acrobatic, neck-twisting fandango to pry the Golden cage door from it’s primary position, opening up a whole new, magnificent world, where the only limit is the sky, if you let it be. Unfortunately, he flew a tad out of his jurisdiction this time getting himself in a debacle and lost.
Ronald begins to feel his stomach rumble like a steam train. Below, he looks at the vast scenic landscape and spots an inchworm making it’s way across a solid white object. Drooling with delight, Ronald nosedives like gravity was kicked up two more notchs. Opening his mouth, he thinks he has it, and at the last minute, the inchworm, maneuvers Ronald into a hole in the solid white object. Ronald crashes into this hole and finds himself stuck in the very object of which he was birthed, an egg.
Walking through the woods a traveling magician, Hans the Great, was making his way to a child’s birthday. Hans upset with his life, is slowly digressing, trolling through the woods. Questioning his life, “will I marry? Kids? Real job? Anything exciting ever again?” He stumbles onto an egg of abnormal proportions, it looks as if the egg was gently placed into a chicken and forced out of a space that was significantly smaller than the egg itself. Like a mother, giving birth to a fifty pound baby, who has a gigantic 24 in. head in diameter. The egg was 5x the original size of the generic chicken shell. The egg had a shining, mystical shell with white ore, but seems to have a loud, black center that was shifting, convulsing.
Equipped with a black hat, thick cane, electronic rabbit, and cup, Han’s hits the egg. It seems something is trying to get out, it is really trying to get out, but what is it? He is so curious, like a boy waiting for his first Christmas present at the break of day. His curiosity consumes him, therefore striking the egg because there could be a suffocating creature amongst the egg. When the cane failed as a primary weapon, he uses the medal rabbit to try a break the egg, by nestling the nose to his chest and grabbing the ears, like he is going to mantle it on his wall. He is striking the egg, but, again, it is another failure. There is one more thing he could do, but it seems utterly foolish.
When Hans was in Magician School, which he found to be a fake group just taking his money, he did learn a quasi-valuable trick. He remembered learning how to use a fake, mechanical rabbit and how to add sand, with salt, to help deteriorate any type of liquid to trick kids into ridding a hat of liquid. He later looks back, regretting being in debt, because he could have perceived it when he received a mechanical rabbit to showcase his talent because of the schools lack of funds.
Using his false training, Hans placed the anomalous egg in the hat. He then added the sand-salt concoction, when adding the mixture the egg cracked freeing Ronald. Ronald flies away back to his house to be home in time before his owners get home. Hans just observes the flying beauty swiftly fly back to the sky where it belongs. Happy and excited, feeling a level of equilibrium, he felt he successfully performed a trick. The self-gratification made the lack of audience an easily forgettable characteristic of the moment. I guess that money did not go to waste after all.