An Unfortunate Event For Ronald The Raven

An Unfortunate Event for Ronald the Raven

Ronald the Raven was a foolish bird. He always flew himself right into bitter situations, leaving melancholy personal feelings.
Ronald was flying through the skies of Northern Nebraska, bored, because you know what they say; Nebraska is the most exciting state of the union. When Ronald came upon a worm that was inching it’s way on a hard circular surface, he dove in for a snag, but found himself immersed in the very object he was born from, an egg.
The ironic thing is that Ronald is actually a renegade house bird. When his owners run on errands or go to their place of employment, Ronald has a tricky way of bending his neck through a curvature in the bars enough to barely peak his beak far enough to pick the lock, like a flying double-ball pick set. After he breaks free, of his metal golden slumber that reeks of solvent and thinners that is relayed bombastically through the touch up paint applied by the owners, he flies through the doggie door that is just made of a thin piece of tire rubber stained with scratch marks and salt dissolvent.
When outside, he flies around the beautiful green landscape Northern Nebraska. There is not too much else to do besides fly around or watch over weight farmers try to gather cows. The experiences are limited, so extensive flying is a must. Exploring is Ronald’s primary passion, but ceases to enjoy the favored activity, because of his illegitimate notion of being a house bird. So when the chance arises, he springs into action, performing his acrobatic, neck-twisting fandango to pry the Golden cage door from it’s primary position, opening up a whole new, magnificent world, where the only limit is the sky, if you let it be. Unfortunately, he flew a tad out of his jurisdiction this time getting himself in a debacle and lost.
Ronald begins to feel his stomach rumble like a steam train. Below, he looks at the vast scenic landscape and spots an inchworm making it’s way across a solid white object. Drooling with delight, Ronald nosedives like gravity was kicked up two more notchs. Opening his mouth, he thinks he has it, and at the last minute, the inchworm, maneuvers Ronald into a hole in the solid white object. Ronald crashes into this hole and finds himself stuck in the very object of which he was birthed, an egg.
Walking through the woods a traveling magician, Hans the Great, was making his way to a child’s birthday. Hans upset with his life, is slowly digressing, trolling through the woods. Questioning his life, “will I marry? Kids? Real job? Anything exciting ever again?” He stumbles onto an egg of abnormal proportions, it looks as if the egg was gently placed into a chicken and forced out of a space that was significantly smaller than the egg itself. Like a mother, giving birth to a fifty pound baby, who has a gigantic 24 in. head in diameter. The egg was 5x the original size of the generic chicken shell. The egg had a shining, mystical shell with white ore, but seems to have a loud, black center that was shifting, convulsing.
Equipped with a black hat, thick cane, electronic rabbit, and cup, Han’s hits the egg. It seems something is trying to get out, it is really trying to get out, but what is it? He is so curious, like a boy waiting for his first Christmas present at the break of day. His curiosity consumes him, therefore striking the egg because there could be a suffocating creature amongst the egg. When the cane failed as a primary weapon, he uses the medal rabbit to try a break the egg, by nestling the nose to his chest and grabbing the ears, like he is going to mantle it on his wall. He is striking the egg, but, again, it is another failure. There is one more thing he could do, but it seems utterly foolish.
When Hans was in Magician School, which he found to be a fake group just taking his money, he did learn a quasi-valuable trick. He remembered learning how to use a fake, mechanical rabbit and how to add sand, with salt, to help deteriorate any type of liquid to trick kids into ridding a hat of liquid. He later looks back, regretting being in debt, because he could have perceived it when he received a mechanical rabbit to showcase his talent because of the schools lack of funds.
Using his false training, Hans placed the anomalous egg in the hat. He then added the sand-salt concoction, when adding the mixture the egg cracked freeing Ronald. Ronald flies away back to his house to be home in time before his owners get home. Hans just observes the flying beauty swiftly fly back to the sky where it belongs. Happy and excited, feeling a level of equilibrium, he felt he successfully performed a trick. The self-gratification made the lack of audience an easily forgettable characteristic of the moment. I guess that money did not go to waste after all.